Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
pray to the hookup gods
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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