I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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