everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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