you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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