A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
