remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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