plz talk dirty to me
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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