And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
