they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize