My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
