need another drink. this is the easiest way
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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