Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
