really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
