I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
