I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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