I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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