I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
