she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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