I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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