I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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