she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
