they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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