She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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