so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
