mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
