he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
