i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
