i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
