everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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