I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize