Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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