What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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