Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
