So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize