Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize