I'm jealous of your bromance
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize