It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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