You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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