Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
