I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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