Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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