You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
MIDGETS
????
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize