this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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