I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
