Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
