on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
