porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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