Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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(314): View more from Missouri

I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog

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(904): View more from Florida

Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You're going to love the baby's room.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.

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