What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
