It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
