take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize