Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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