I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
