I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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