i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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