guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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